But this can't be vilify because their is a great saying in India that "None other than mother of a child can understand him better".
I do agree on this but it is ?
I believe this is the time when we need to start thinking aggressively on various contemporary methods of pa rental care to a child. There was a time when families used to live in Joint Fashion where there were many people around to a child to make himself familiar and comfortable with new ...a very new surrounding. Finding so many people around him obviously couldn't be so easy for a new born specially if someone could have come from a peaceful environment(mother womb). But babies are the fastest leaners in the world, and they are equipped with calm and creative mind hence they adopted themselves very early in the new surrounding and every body is going to love them so adjustment is never remain a big problem for him. During his early age perioud let say up to 3-4 years he used be cynosure among the family and everyone help him to leanr something new, either it could be mama, or mouse or chacha or dadi. This helps him to inculcate social minerals and develop ability to get acquainted to this social environment and respect its rule. It also indirectly teaches him about various behaviors and personalities and it's survival among them so this helps a child to fight home sickness or never to surrender against emotional unbalance, providing carrying forward emotions in a stronger way being sensitive to every ones need, surrounding to him because during his adulthood he.she used to repeat this same procedure with either his/her child or other child in family. So inter-dependency and inter-learning is the key behind learning something which was never though to him in any teaching format so it remains in unconscious for always almosty.
This appears like a cycle as i will learn something from everyone in indirect way and i will tech every new baby in indirect way and so on.....going on.
But imagine what will happen if any of its element out of this cycle either will disappear or condemned due to various reasons.........right, it will be disoriented and directly start affecting not a single kid or many kinds but to the entire coming generation. Now a days metro lifestyle is giving so many ostensible materialistic sources of please but keeping our self away from the very basic right of getting minimum care or early guidance, indirectly. Now when parents, both mother and father are working somewhere either operating from home or working form office are isolated themselves from this cycle and reason we do know very well....Too much work-hectic work and only work. Nothing can stop a person from aspiring or dreaming to achieve something which can make him feel completed in all way as certainly it is right of every individual in this world or may doing more in order to provide better education or habitat or facilities in any form to their children but this cant be ignored that someone is depriving of his/her basic right to get affection and care, specially during hsr tenure of first 5 years.
What parents are doing now...
1) Leaving their children to the TV or absurd sort of entertaining media, which is believably not good for a adult so how much harm it can do to a coming generation.
2) Not offering as possible as company of elders like his/her grand Mother/father, that used to be minimum 3-4 months during summer vacations. ( because they have full time to observe and correct their mistakes lovingly and let them enjoy the company of other than parents so that it can learn many thing about others.)
3) Not involving yourselves with him in his very kiddish activities of playing with anything or looking things towards common things like looking towards a alien.....
4) Not letting kid to play with other same age kids in society, because one(mom-dad) don't have time from their usual activities which either could be work, cooking or watching TV, because it helps him to accustomed with social structure and other humane being on his own.
5) Not spending much time to new born baby and going back to work just few months after of birth, for the sake of smooth work in office and praised by higher officials at the cost of ones child development....not a story, i do have scene all this at office place. None of any mother really would like to scarifies for some time by abstaining hectic work, which is usually always hectic.
Parenting is certainly the most demanding and challenging job but still very rewarding job on this planet which leaves everyone happy and satisfied as children are another form of gd so it is also equal to worship of god. Their is no parent on this who never committed any mistake while taking care of their children and if someone exists so he/she can't come out of fairy tails, so it needs to be understood very essentially that mistakes are the virtue of human and first time parents or next time parents with different kid is bound to do mistakes because your mistakes reflects one's continuous efforts. Here goal is to minimize mistakes as much as possible specially for who have already committed many or for future parents as it is better to sacrifice a little today rather than repenting later on.
Below are certain hard core steps which one needs to take care while having a new born baby or planning to have a baby.
Please make a lucid understanding here that this is just outline of parental guidance, not professional one, before adopting any of below please consult with your parents or elders of family or pedestrians or psychologists as they one's certified it, have greater impact on one's psychic and improves motivation.....i believe this has nothing to do with "Maslow's Theroy of Motivation". :-)
Simple followings can eliminate or help to overcome these early problems because Their are simple, still effective.
1) Please make sure that your child never feels alone for longer time as it brings social insecurities.
2) If possible so try to expose your baby as low as possible to the T.V. because for getting higher TRP ratings and making cheap money, any organization or production can let your child sacrifices or deprived of basic learning of positive social values or expose him to violence, which could destroy his early development.
3) Encourage him to play with same age kids so that he can start learning social rule, like helping each other, sympathy, value of social moral and protecting ourselves from wanted -unwanted things like bullying or doing right things.
4) Let him play in actual environment, no need to protect him from late evening sunlight because sooner or later he/she has to survive in the very same environment....so its better if body developes inner resistance to this changing weather.
5) Always keep an eye on his activities because while playing with society children he might have start imitating others or start followings others behavior as this is very obvious and practical because you cant be sure of parental guidance given to other children by their parents.
6) Spending more and more time with him and answer all of his never ending queries properly and scientifically, not by just shouting over them or pacifying them with some vague story. Their mind is tend to believe on what ever they receive from outside world and first source of information for them is their parents, as they can't verify information form past learning as this is their first learning. This helps to develop scientific and practical understanding about surrounding which many time helps them to overcome their fear from dark or loneliness which many of us are still scare, because we heard many stories from our elders about scary ghost or zombies.
7) Let your kid have opportunity to interact with other members of family, if you are a nuclear family then let me stay with his/her grant parents for considerable intervals so that absence of your guidance can be compensated by them.
This is viably not all about parental guidance, as many books have already written over this topic and this always changes time to time with changing lifestyle of gross society hence parents needs to update themselves with changing pattern of parenting and start pouring themselves with necessary local information about parenting because except very basic rule, all others various from civilization to civilization. Parental practices used in New york can't be compared with parental guidance adopted in some local area of Philippines or Africa or China.
If you started thinking about, "How can i adopt them or i need to adopt them ?", means you have got the idea, now just need to give adequate emphasis on it.
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:-)
Your kid should be free from any pattern by you are bounded and feels restrained.